a smooth day..can it be repeat?

What a smooth day wake up at 12 and took my sweet time to prepare myself to work cause I'm working afternoon shift today...job given by my chef are tons...but i did not finish it, well just do whatever i can in 8hrs and i well, the give me the post of commis2...ok fine, I'm happy to get the post but if u put me in commis3, I'll be just fine...all i need now is exp now, and no matter how high i go with no exp. i'm just like a empty can...so no point of giving me a high post now...and i was talking to a coffee house guy today, well he was working in palace of the golden horses before this hotel, he works for 4 years in kitchen but he's still in commis 3...and i'm very luck to skipped commis 3...might be i'll stay in commis 2 for awhile to get more exp before i get the next post...and i was talking to him about pastry stuff...Well, Switzerland is a famous country in doing chocolates and if i do go thr and work i'll have a great chance to learn fine chocolate work but i might need to spend 10K to go and work there...well i'm willing to spend my money to go and learn such things...and Italy is also a great place to learn pastry...well i planned to fly overseas at the age of 20 and be a chef in 27 or 30...well, hoped i can do what i've planned for now...and i'm not staying in this hotel for a long time, cause the management and chef are terrible...i can gurantee, i can handle the kitchen better than the chef right now...i'm not kidding, cuz i'm trained to...might be i should leave before Chinese new year or after...and back to KL...i'll try to apply back KL Hilton and if not i'll try Shangrila or other great hotels...if not...last choice is overseas...out i go from M'sia...Well better not to put too much confident in this cause i'll get myself in trouble for being too confident, this happens to me before in kitchen and taking exams...and people in kitchen do tell me too...too much confident do kills...well, now i believe it...and thanks for telling me...And lately, i felt boring with the stuff i'm doing every hour, that is going for a puff... well last 3 hours is my last stick and there it goes...i'm trying hard to quit it and i did it...just hope i don't get stressed up and i'll do it again...might be...? most proberly not...well when i think it over, it seriously waste my money, and after each stick i takes i felt heavy and it makes me tired...i get excausted very fast...well friends out there, if possible please don't go for puff when i'm around...i've just learn to stop...and oh god...! this weekend i've to be in my hotel at 6am, cause i'll be going out for catering again for 2 days..! and my chef asked me to work O.T...well its fine for me...but at least next week you let me off on Saturday so that i can go back to my collage and attend my class...you re seriously F! gawd damn...! u dosen't have any planning? u think i'm the only guy in the kitchen and u need me? what about, if i'm on M.C on that day? you'll die without me...? seriously crap...might be i should tell u someting...u do have much more exp than me but you are a lousy chef, u dissappoint me...and well i'm leaving very soon, its been almost 3months and i've been following your orders all the time...fine...let's see, next week what you gonna tell me...pls don'y upset me...i've an exam to take...

gt salary...but hv to pay bills ad...TT

Very tired today cause can't keep my eyes close last night, but i still went to work. No matter what, i still can resist it...Well something keeps moving in my mind and i seriously don't know how to explain...hmm...~ nvm just keep it a side till the time comes. And what a pleasure to meet a new trainee in my kitchen...^^ well he's not into pastries, but he is under training, so he've gt no choice, have to go through all the kitchen...well no matter what, still have to teach him something so that he'll be able to learn something...and well well...my car is healthy now and its time for me to rock and roll...! haha...can drive anywhr i want...but the hotel point went down this month, so my salary dosen't makes me smile this month, might be i just need to cut something off so tht it will be enough for me to spend for the whole month and OMG! my phone bills...108...? what the fish...! well tht's normal, still haven't break my last record...if not mistaken is almost 200...^^ haha...dunno who i called...lolz...and aww...my hotel canteen served ugly and terrible food...i'm not gonna have any meals in my hotel till they change their menu...i don't mind skipping a few meals...cuz i'm so used to...i had a ham and eggs sandwhiches this morning till now...its about 6...haha...and i just had 1 meal...^^ i'm so tired and i still need to cook dinner, but well its ok...cuz its for my parents...don't mind doing things for loves ones...ok...i guess tht's it for today...will continue tmr if i'm still breathing...so pray hard for me and i'll pray hard for u guys...^^

dreams tht i want to archive...can i? will i? do i?

i'm off tdy, and i gt my energy fully charged...still no plans today slept for almost the whole day again...took my lunch and then back to my bed...well, i don't mind sleeping after my stomach is filled cause no matter hw much i eat i'm still the same size...sigh...i'm getting bored of thinking...just want to get out of my life and do whatever i like...haha...keep driving and go as far as possible so i do not need to face things that is hard for me...might be, after my studies next year, i'll move out of place where i am now to place where its far, France...Italy or Australia will do or placed i want to be in ...KOREA!!!, if i have the chance...Chef in overseas paid re very well... and the exp is much more better there...if i really want to be the best i can't stick my butt here and rott...i want to wear coat and i want to give myself and my family a better life, i guess this is the best way to do it... and after a few yrs in overseas, might be M'sia will change or might be not...well well...just need help from people so that i'm able to fly out frm here and get a job out there...pastries in overseas are finer...food compatition and good chef are there too...and now its not the time for me to waste, gt to keep myself some cash and off i go...Well, i'm pretty sorry my friends, to said this to u guys, but don't worry...when the chef cap is mine... i'll be back for you guys and all of you will able to enjoy great desserts from me....

feeling free...

haha...^^ was very free today in the kitchen and nothing much to do...juz a few nia...XD rush and finished my job and I've 2hr extra to snake around the hotel...lolz...a parterner of mine who wrk afternoon shift with me took M.C....and i'm all alone in the kitchen...whooo~ scary...lolz... chef went back, demi chef went back and others staff re not around...and i'm all alone in pastry kitchen...I'm incharged...! haha....well have 2hrs free time for me, and so i went to snake for awhile and back to the kitchen to play the marzipan... did a few roses(to ppl who c my pics, tht's for you....!) haha...well if u have a gf, buy a box of marzipan and do 100 roses for ur gf and i'm pretty sure ur gf will be proud of u or carve 100 roses from fruits...lolz...(not bad huh my idea...XD) and i called up u....no! no! i mean u!...ya u...!^^ wanna noe the reasons y? well everybody do care for each other, and once ppl care for u, it dosen't mean they like you or whatever it is...well i pretty sure its just a good things to care for everyone right? Well and i still wanna go on as usual, c when i was staying thr...i got so many spears stabing into me...so y should i keep going on...??? ya! and i noe u had told me b4 it...well should listen to u, regreted it... treating people in good ways, in the end i got myself(haiz...dun wanna talk bout it)...might be i'll just have to go on as usual until the time comes or if not...might be just leave it like tht to dry...TT

(=.=) (@.@) ($.$) (^.^) (+.+)

AHH~ today is better, cause not much job to do...but my job today is all about muffins...filled up 6 large containers with 3 types of muffin....and ya...! got a new dessert but i doesn't really attract me...might be i should do a little changes on it...i mean the chocolate work not the mousse, its too simple...>< and while doing it, a staff of mine asked me to teach her to do chocolate stick. Well, i do so but it came out not really perfect, cause the room temperature are not cold enough...well nvm, at least she gt the method, and good luck to her in trying it out...^^ ARGH! when will my car be ready???!!! my car enter hospital for almost a week ad...TT i've no car to use and my parents have to drive me around...even to work and after...cause of my car, i can't go to mamak or where ever i want...see! i'm a person who can't sit quietly, i'll move around no matter what happens...oh god why are u treating me this way? TT u noe i'll have to go out...sob...~ i can't resist it anymore...i want to go out with my own car...

learn something new that is important for me...^^

Its though for people who works in kitchen, we takes pressure, stress and heat. But no matter what i choose, I'll not regret... recently the pressure i receive is more...but i don't mind i take it as my experience. But no matter how, I'm looking forward to do the best and i want myself to get good result for what I've chosen for my future. As i said, today I'm seriously exhausted, staff in my kitchen are leaving 1 by 1 and i hope, the chef will do something with it, cause things, desserts from my kitchen are not done and we are lack of people to do it. Well, today I've learn something better, prepare a display wedding cake for tmr wedding function. First, i thought it was easy just like preparing mazipan for cakes, but this times i've to handle the sugar fondant. Well it does not tear easily like mazipan when i rolled it, but it will harden if i leave it for awhile, and when i continue to do it when it is harden the whole piece will crack, and it it do...i'll have to thorw it back to the mechine again before i use it again or another short cut way is just to touch up with, something called side decor icing fondant(tht's what my kitchen called) its a soft type when we can piped it and it will turn hard too, after awhile...another thing about handling this sugar fondat... i've to cover the strofoam, after covering it perfectly, i've to crack my head to remove the rest of the fondant that i don't need...i'm still slow in doing it, by the time...the fondand will start to dry and become hard...This is the 1st time for me to do dummies wedding cake(display wedding cakes) but its a little different from the rest. Might be i should work out on it, so it will be smooth when i do it the next time...Well after doing that, i thought of doing my own wedding cake for display in my home, might be abot 3 cakes will be resonable with the colour of sky blue and roses made by mazipan on the side of it...if more than tht, i need helping hands...>< Well, not much to worry about, cause pay will be out soon and i'll have the money to buy the ingredients to do it...hope i can start doing it a.s.a.p.

need to remove the evil in me and be a better person...

Days after days...well everything passed quickly, its been 2 and the half month working here in Malacca and everything still goes smooth, no matter what. Well, its because i take everything easy and nothing much for me to worried about. I finished my studies but the things is, i just want to go deeper into my studies that is degree. But it was quite disappointed, my scores for my theory are not as good as my practical. Well, lots off people thought I'll pass, but don't forget no matter how perfect we are, we'll fall someday. I don't blame myself for failing this time and it doesn't mean I'm a failure, but why not i give a try by taking 2nd time. Simple things are not created for us to worry, might be we just need some time to make a decision or to solve it, and ya! recently people around me said I've changed. Well, might be i do change, i admit i have the bad and the good side. But this time the bad side is more than the good ones. I know I'm better than before, might be i just need some time. We can't change a bad to a good ones in just 1 night, but we can change a good ones to a bad within a minute. To be a better one, parents comes first. I do ask myself sometimes, do i respect my parents? Well, my honest answers is sometimes i don't. Cause i don't really listen to them. The problems is here, i cant change the others of my bad side before this, but i guess i just need time. "Papa" and "Mummy"...please forgive me for being rude, you're the best parents and provide me the best all the time...Well, sometimes parents do nag at us, or even yelled, this is because they want us to go through the correct path, but we as their children have to understand. Might be, the way they teach us or brought us up are a little old fashion, but don't ever forget, this is how they've been brought up, and they had been through everything, and they are walls and shelter to us now. But now times moves forward and things changes, so we have to understand them. "Papa"..."Mummy"...Thank you... I'll make myself a better person and i won't forget what you have done for me...

2nd day of Raya...everything slow down, bt still bz...crap...><

Was a little bz today....cuz hv to prepare all the desserts again...all finished cuz of yesterday functions...and luck my chef was in the kitchen for half day only and he went back to celebrate Raya with his family...so i purposely take my own sweet time to prepare all the desserts again...if i rush and do my job...the other staff will be sitting down in the locker and relax themself...so what's the point? At least i did do something for the kitchen. Haiz even i take my sweet time to do all the things, i gt tattoo frm the oven, might be i'll have to wear long sleevs to cover the burns...lolz....and another thing is....i heard frm my demi chef, might be the exc chef will give me the post of commis 1, i was so happy to hear tht...bt dunno is ture o nt...well, i'm happy enough if u put me at the post of commis 2...bt i'm willing to accept my post as commis 1 if u want ti giv me...keh keh keh...~(greedy)^^ well well... was on the way back just nw and this old aunty tht's wrkin in my hotel does not have any transport back, well if she do, she'll have to wait for the hotel van at about 11.30pm and its a little too late...then i "chin chai"! bah...hitch the aunty a ride back, since i'm on the way back too...well, she's also a nice aunty, always help to keep my kitchen clean...proud to have her in the hotel...^^ giv a clap for her...

tdy and my future...

1st day of raya, was very busy, 2 outside catering functions during the day and at night...another wedding function...well lucky i'm nt taking care fr the night function^^ but i was taking care of the function during the day in MITC...and my pay is double double and double...^^ earn big money in 1day haha...^^ Actually, the function this morning is about 200pax...bt out of no whr, more n more ppl coming in...about 1000 pax...i guess more than that bah...2 person handle pastry item, tht is me and my chef...was a little tired, but i'm used to it ad...well at least i gt a green packet frm my chef...hehe...^^ and and....i'm addicted to a game called Dota...well serious its fun when i'm playing with a groups of friends...well, i'm still a nooby and i'm a meat in the game...cuz other ppl character/hero killed me more than the others...TT...and i heard a sad stories frm my chef tdy while he's driving me back to the hotel after the function...he told me, its hard for us to care for our family when we wrks in Kitchen...well when i think it over, its true...cuz i spend my time more in kitchen than with my family...well, i'm sorry fr myself...bt no matter what, i'll try my best to be thr for my family no matter what happens...he even told me, when he's wrking in Genting last time...we did not get the chance to celebrate Raya with his family and his tears roll dwn...bt now, he's used to it ad...well...might be i'll do my best to change things...and i noe, its tiring when we wrk in kitchen, and its all hard wrk if we climb till the top...and if i want to...i'll have to stand on my feet for long hours...well, sometimes i pity all those great chefs....and even my feet 2 ^^...bt the chef had gone through everything...and i haven't...well, everything gonna start soon...and my target is...in about 6 to 7 yrs...i want to be a jounior sous chef....by the time my age will be around...ermmm.....about 26 yrs old...haha....kinda young....lolz...just my target bah...if cant make it...well at least 10 yrs bah...at age of 30...might be tht time i'll get the post of senior sous chef...and the whole pastry kitchen will be in my hand...haha....

i love pastries...!

Well...well...used to write blogs in Friendster but now, I've changed to blog here...what a surprised...haha...! Kinda exhausted today, finished up my energy by concentrating on what i'm doing(fully focus)...and my wrk is, just sit on my chef chair and help him to remove the aluminum foil that is stick to the sugar work that he prepared...it takes time cause the sugar works breaks easily...something like....erm...a glass! its not easy...haha...well, like i said...doing pastries need patience...if not you'll messed up, just like that day...i was preparing mazipan to cover the wedding cake, and i need the size of 2.5...but i kept thinking of going back and so i failed doing it...but i'm lucky enough cause my chef did not sound me...till the next day i tried again, i focus on it again, in the end i did it...i did a great job...Well, no matter what i'll not give up in pastries cause i love doing pastries...haha....! XD I wanna do it again...be a professional in preparing wedding cakes...lolz...might be i should take some pictures of it...and post it here...^^ and yeah! i'm off tmr...gonna party tonight...watch movie all day tmr...